Friends make life worth living. For pediatric leukemia survivors, close relationships are one of the recommended emotionally supportive ingredients to assist children in building happy lives post-treatment.
However, making—and keeping—friends for children battling cancer is yet another challenge they must conquer. Here’s why.
Bittersweet Years
Brett Wilson is a two-time childhood cancer survivor (ALL Leukemia and Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma) who has defied medical odds for five decades.
She is an author and founder of the Walking Miracles Family Foundation in West Virginia, where she helps families navigate pediatric cancer diagnoses by providing counseling and resources like tablets for telehealth access and money for transportation to medical procedures.
“I started my nonprofit because my experience as a child with cancer was not a very good one,” explains Brett.
Research shows that adult survivors of childhood cancer remember their younger years as a collection of experiences that encompass the range of the good and bad of human nature.
Isolation, bullying, or a feeling that they don’t belong because friends don’t understand their diagnosis merge with touching acts of service, unbreakable bonds with other survivors, and generous gifts from close ones and strangers.
Growing Pains of Cancer
More than half of cancer survivors report feeling isolated.
Survivors think it’s difficult to be social when they have low energy, feel sick, or are in discomfort with their appearance.
“Prednisone would make my emotions go up and down all the time. One minute, I would cry. Another minute, I would be mad. Another minute later, I wanted to fight somebody, so I was on a continuous roller coaster. And not having any hair, people would make fun of me because of that. I didn’t have a lot of friends, to be honest,” shares Brett.
Human connection is beautiful, but it is also complicated.
How To Make Friends and Influence People While Battling Leukemia
It’s easy to forget how life was when you were a kid. But it’s important to remember how friendships form and evolve when you are young to grasp the connection struggles children battling leukemia face.
Losing friends is a part of childhood. People move away, change schools, and shared interests evolve.
How many close friends from the third grade are you in touch with?
Childhood leukemia happens amid these normal social dynamics. So, if a child starts missing school days, their friends are not bad friends for getting closer to other children; they are just kids who attach to the children they see and spend time with daily.
Brett remembers. “Most of my time was spent at the hospital. When I returned, I didn’t want to attend school because I knew I would dislike being alone. What ended up happening was that instead of making friends, I became isolated from everybody.”
Studies show that childhood cancer survivors’ relationships suffer, and compared to children without cancer, they feel less socially engaged and can become distant—even to their best friends.
Is it Hard to Be Friends with a Child Impacted by Cancer?
Close friends of children with cancer, despite loving them and wanting them to be a part of their lives, can struggle to remain in contact with them.
Kids are afraid to say the wrong thing or don’t know how to communicate with a friend battling leukemia.
Children can feel guilty about being healthy when their friend is diagnosed with cancer and find it awkward to play like nothing is going on.
So, friendships may dissolve due to the difficulties of not having the life skills and experience to deal with complicated situations.
Also, children battling cancer may not want to burden their loved ones with their diagnosis and can isolate themselves because they dread misunderstanding or a hurtful reaction.
Nevertheless, in the midst of leukemia, beautiful friendships do blossom.
Learnings from The Best Side of Cancer
Children impacted by cancer lead meaningful lives, and their positive experiences can help shape solid social connections even in the hardest moments of the disease.
Survivors believe that cancer, despite all the pain that caused them, also made it possible for them to experience moments they wouldn’t trade like:
- Meeting other survivors who became best friends.
- Engaging with clinical professionals who care about them.
- Encountering volunteers who dedicate their lives to serving.
- Working with support organizations committed to their needs.
- Sharing moments with neighbors who provided warmth and comfort.
Leukemia survivors encounter beautiful individuals along the way, and we can intentionally create spaces that promote meaningful relationships. Here is how.
Building Environments that Foster Empathy
80% of children survive childhood cancer. While these survival rates reflect the progress of oncology care, they also create responsibilities for us as a society.
How do we care for children’s emotional and social lives post-treatment?
When leukemia treatment is over, kids cannot just turn a switch on and resume life as if nothing had happened.
Tiredness persists for months, and keeping up with social obligations can take a toll on the body. Sixty-two percent of childhood cancer survivors feel they grew up as a person faster than the other kids around them.
The initial response to a child’s leukemia diagnosis is characterized by overwhelming support. But as treatment can last up to two years, things get quiet after a few months, and parents and children feel that life has gone back to normal for everyone else but them.
Intentional action is required.
Designing interventions to address the emotional and physical needs of a child rejoining school post-treatment, for instance, is a practical way to help peers, friends, and the child cope better.
Brett explains. “There’s a lack of education on how people who have cancer are treated in the school systems. Educators, counselors, and the people in the school need to understand what a child is going through. And so do the kids.”
Parents and teachers may feel uncomfortable familiarizing children with cancer, but it’s a job worthy of investing time in as it can mean helping a child battling leukemia keep socially connected to friends who value them but are not prepared to deal with the weight of the situation.
Providing Children the Opportunity They Deserve
Children with leukemia deserve the best chance to remain connected to their communities because, as Brett concludes, kids battling cancer have much to offer: “I believe that because I overcame ‘impossible’ situations, I became a diamond in the rough waiting for an opportunity to shine.”
